Friday, July 15, 2011

The Biking Chronicles of Pedal Bob Braino # 9 - "Brain Sweet Brain"

Technical sections like steep drop always forced Pedal Bob to dismount and gleefully push his bike. Something he didn't really like and trying very hard to overcome. He decided to do something about it by doing a "secret training". As dawn breaks, Bob was already up and about, pedaling away. Found a rather steep slope that would suffice for his skill enhancement purpose.

Trail was about 2 feet wide decorated with bushes on either side. A long dry spell made the soil lose and dusty. His heart raced, thumping faster and faster. He approached the slope shoulder. Paused momentarily to summon all the courage he could muster. Hesitation seeped in. He backed up a few paces, took a mighty big inhale and he was off. The bike rolled reluctantly. Slowly at first then started gaining speed once on the gradient. Bob steadied his grip. His head recalling all the steps to be done in that situation from his multiple readings from bike mags, websites and the like.

His head betrayed him because he could not put the steps in proper order. Panic kicked in together with a huge wave of regret. was all too late. His finger froze and glued to the grip. Gravity took over increasing his speed. The 15 percent gradient gave a very awkward feeling. Down below, a papaya tree heavily laden with fruits. Few already in fiery bright orange color. Signs of ripeness. The strange law of accident that says "In time when you lose control of your vehicle, you will be directed towards an awaiting object regardless whether there is plenty of clear space around". As if there's a strong tractor beam projected from the papaya tree, Bob was pulled towards it. With a loud yell jumping out from his mouth, his front hit the papaya tree. It's rear still in motion, swung up, throwing him off the saddle, over the bar with his head aimed straight at the trunk. A loud THUD! and the whole of Bob piled at the foot of the tree. Moments later, a couple more thud followed suit. The disorganized percussion ended with a loud SPLAT!!!

Mesmerized, disoriented, Bob painstakingly rolled over and with all difficulty managed to rest his back on the papaya trunk. His heart racing. His breath short and fast. Gasping. His head throbbing. Ringing noise filled his ears. From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of reddish, squishy substance strewn all over his shoulder. Slowly, he removed his glove. Brought his hand to his head. Helmet still strapped. Slowly he felt his helmet from front to back then back to front. He could feel moist, squishy bits and pieces all over his helmet. He paused momentarily before yelling out "OH NOOOOOO!!! MY BRAIN'S SPLATTERED! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE!". Without realising, he brought his hand to his mouth. Curiosity persuaded him to have a taste of human brain before his last beat of heart. "Hmmmm...never knew that human brain tastes so sweet...".

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